Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stag Barbershop: Mustache Shaving Party

In preparation for the 12th Annual Quick on the Draw climbing competition the men of Adventure Rock visited Stag Barbershop in Bayview for a classic shave. Each year the gym has a new theme for this competition, and this year's just happened to be mustaches. I think most people were pretty excited, although some still perplexed by this manly decision. Either way we knew we'd need a professional and classy shave in order to be contenders in the best mustache competition. So plans were made to visit Stag, and we all waited patiently for our upper lip hair to grow. And as time passed we left no mustache style un-googled in our growing excitement and preparation for the big shave.

A Stag Barbershop Stag

I have visited Stag once before to get a haircut from my fiend Sarah, who just got a job working there. From the moment I walked into the place I could tell that I wasn't in for a typical haircut experience. I had only had my hair cut once since I cut off all of my dreads with a regular scissors while camping in the woods. Walking into Stag I felt like I had just discovered a mecca of Milwaukee class and style and in the confines of the small and aged building. Right away I knew that I was in for a treat as well as a stylish haircut! Before I knew it I was enjoying a nice cold Pabst and the company of three classy gals, Sarah, Robin and Jess. After getting my first haircut at Stag done entirely with a straight razor, I had been immediately transformed from your everyday slob-slum looking bum with halfa-mullet, to an outstanding slob-someone with a non-bum haircut. What can I say, I didn't even leave with a new set of jeans or t-shirt, but that haircut looked good and I smelt nice! Everything just fell into place...

Sarah working on Rory's stache with Robin trimming up Danny in the background.

Owner Jess Stern giving Craig a nice, professional, and sophisticated stache.

After being so impressed with my first visit to Stag, I knew I had to spread the word to my friends about this gem in Bayview. I was confident that they would think my barbershop transformation was a success, as well as an entertaining story and perhaps they'd be down to go check it out someday. One of the first people I saw was Craig Burzynski, manager and funny-man of Adventure Rock climbing gym where I am a loyal employee. I told Craig about how rad it was to go to a barbershop for the first time, especially after all of the years of having long dreadlocks. I mentioned I was planning on going to get my mustache worked on before Quick on the Draw so that I could fulfill my dream of having a mustache worth noticing. Craig thought it was a great idea, and he wanted in. Before we knew it the word had spread around the climbing gym like the chalk that circulates with the air, and a mustache shaving party was born.
Soon the day had come, were the blade met the skin, and the faces of eight men were to become new again. What once was a group of bearded ape-like men was to now been transformed with the simple grace and discipline of a straight razor. And you might be asking yourself "Well where are they now after the shave, and how has their mustache blessed them?" And I assure you the men who once spent their time climbing the walls of the local climbing gym have now been spotted in the most sophisticated and upholding of establishments and organizations.

Craig Burzynski sports his new look.

With his new stache, Craig is now considered to be everyone's favorite (and trusted) uncle, regardless of any legitimate relation to his new "family" at the local super market.

David Nimmer gives us his version of "Blue Steel"

No longer having a chunk of "tree sap" stuck in his hair, David Nimmer has jump-started his modeling career and is reported to have a major portfolio review with Maytag in the
near future.

Mark Nimmer leaner and meaner than ever.

Mark Nimmer, now better known as has"Johny Stache" became the new face of the WWF with his new found self confidence after sporting his new stache in his first ever wrestling match tie.

Peter Beck might make you look like a fool.

Peter Beck is the brain child for VH1's new hit series "The World Wide Web's Most Outrageous Uploads!" where he has worked his way up from comment poster to head-criticizer of popular youtube videos.

Danny Clifford has the authority and might just use it.

Danny Clifford has also fulfilled his lifelong goal of becoming a stunt double's double on the popular TV show Reno 911, where he also works on-set security part time.

Rory Trainor is just having the time of his life and wants you to know.

Rory Trainor is now a trainee for peanut salesman position for the peanut super company Planters, where he sees himself having a salty yet sweet relationship with the manufactured peanut corporation for many years to come.


A big thanks to the women of Stag for giving all of us an opportunity to fulfill our dreams and to give us the confidence to pursue the toughest and most mustache dependent of lifestyles. A little off the top, and a little over the top indeed!